The Joy of letting women down (the ROFLMAO post)

WOMANISER, PHILANDERER, ADULTERER, HEARTBREAKER....

.....According to rumour, these are a dying species if not actually extinct. No self respecting woman wants to be seen dead with one of these dinosaurs of a by-gone phallocentric age.
Prominent members of the breed have been spotted lining up at the clinics of eminent therapists to be cured of what has now been identified as the serious disease of "sex addiction". Sufferers are begging to be reformed, re-framed, re-programmed to be reborn as New Men.....

Really?
So why is the Womaniser never short of willing women? The adulterer makes whoopee with adulteresses, the philanderer with philanderines and the rake with rakettes? Why are these women swarming around so-called dinosaurs? Are they all brainless bimbos? No doubt there are few Brainless Bimbos among the female crowd leaving messages on the dinosaurs e-mail, fax and blackberry, but there are also PHDs, MDs and VIPS of every description. How to explain this phenomenon? Evolution theory?

So that's why women throw themeselves at adulterous alcoholics, chainsmokers, gluttons, gamblers and absconding impregnators while nice guys with steady jobs, healthy bodies and caring-sharing ways frequently languish alone in the columns of person ads?

Something else is going on here....and i know the truth?

I know the truth because....all that above there is from a book called "the joy of letting women down. Secrets of the worshipped male" Oh and its written by a woman, Natalie d'Arbeloff.

-most women want a man they can worship
-most women want a man they can rely on.
-its a fact of life that those two things are incompatible:
-men who are worshipped are not reliable
-and men who are reliable are not worshipped.

Another fact you may have noticed is that women tend to flock towards the worshippable male(WM) while they merely trickle towards the reliable man(rm).

This book is about the man who is flocked to, the Worshipped male.
It is not suggesting that being a WM is a good thing. It is a very bad thing, which like many bad things is also a lot of fun. This book reveals precisely why this bad thing is fun and precisely why this fun is bad.

if you are a reliable man...you shouldnt read this book...you will become corrupted..unless of course you are tired of the trickles....
if you are woman in thrall of a WM, this book will teach you the tricks of his trade...unless you are already a victim...and
If you you are dancing queen, only 17, innocent and have never met a WM, dont worry...soon or later you will.

How the questioned book came to be in my possession? Given to me over 6 months ago by a woman...who in her self is another story.....so i could hone my skill...apparently! It came to my attention again...by a visiting rm...who was seeking next to a damsel...he couldnt figure out why she just couldnt see it.....he was a good deal....

A reliable man( ha! ROFLMAO) writing a facebook note in a second floor apartment in a far far away land on a dull saturday afternnon:

"Off to be a wolf...in a wolf's skin...perhaps in another life time..."

while in the distant distance..a woman...or was it women...i cannot seem to recall... reading the note....laughed out loud...no infact...rolled on the floor and laughed out loud.....laughed her ass off...ROFLMAO...

P.S
The joy of letting women down, secrets of the worshipped male, Natalie D'arbelhoff, 2000, Robson books.

Essays on Uganda part 6: History: Controversies. Who shall bell the cat

Through the looking glass and what i saw there
D E Wasake Esq

When a "commoner" refused to kiss a Queen mother!

13 April 1893
(extracts from Sir Gerald Portal's diary)

Namasole (king's mother) came to visit me, riding on the shoulders of a strong man. She was dressed in a good leopard skin tied on the right shoulder, and a good mbugu ; nice intelligent old lady, with a cheerful, pleasant face ; had at least one very good-looking girl with her ; greatly admired my room ; gave her a Cashmere shawl and some good silks.

28th April 1893
Namasole, the queen-mother, came to see me. Was more than friendly. Gave her a sheet of paper and red and blue pencil. She wanted to kiss me on going. Frank photographed her in gilt chair.

Sir Samuel Baker is to blame for the Bunyoro lost counties saga of today!

Until the middle of the nineteenth century, Uganda remained relatively isolated from the outside world. The central African lake region was, after all, a world in miniature, with an internal trade system, a great power rivalry between Buganda and Bunyoro, and its own inland seas. When intrusion from the outside world finally came, it was in the form of long-distance trade for ivory. By the 1860s, Buganda was the destination of ever more caravans, and the kabaka and his chiefs began to dress in cloth called mericani, which was woven in Massachusetts and carried to Zanzibar by American traders. It was judged finer in quality than European or Indian cloth, and increasing numbers of ivory tusks were collected to pay for it. Bunyoro sought to attract foreign trade as well, in an effort to keep up with Buganda in the burgeoning arms race. Bunyoro also found itself threatened from the north by Egyptian-sponsored agents who sought ivory and slaves but who, unlike the Arab traders from Zanzibar, were also promoting foreign conquest. Khedive Ismael of Egypt aspired to build an empire on the Upper Nile; by the 1870s, his motley band of ivory traders and slave raiders had reached the frontiers of Bunyoro. The khedive sent a British explorer, Samuel Baker, to raise the Egyptian flag over Bunyoro. The Banyoro (people of Bunyoro) resisted this attempt, and Baker had to fight a desperate battle to secure his retreat. Baker regarded the resistance as an act of treachery, and he denounced the Banyoro in a book that was widely read in Britain. Later British empire builders arrived in Uganda with a predisposition against Bunyoro, which eventually would cost the kingdom half its territory until the "lost counties" were restored to Bunyoro after independence.

Kabaka Kintu was not the first Kabaka but it was a munyoro!

....The third type of state to emerge in Uganda was that of Buganda, on the northern shores of Lake Victoria. This area of swamp and hillside was not attractive to the rulers of pastoral states farther north and west. It became a refuge area, however, for those who wished to escape rule by Bunyoro or for factions within Bunyoro who were defeated in contests for power. One such group from Bunyoro, headed by Prince Kimera, arrived in Buganda early in the fifteenth century. Assimilation of refugee elements had already strained the ruling abilities of Buganda's various clan chiefs and a supraclan political organization was already emerging. Kimera seized the initiative in this trend and became the first effective king (kabaka) of the fledgling Buganda state. Ganda oral traditions later sought to disguise this intrusion from Bunyoro by claiming earlier, shadowy, quasi supernatural kabakas.

The scene set for a repeat of the Buganda uprisings of 1949, 1955, 1961 and 1966....?

The Baganda have had significant uprisings four times:

In 1949 discontented Baganda rioted and burned down the houses of progovernment chiefs. The rioters had three demands: the right to bypass government price controls on the export sales of cotton, the removal of the Asian monopoly over cotton ginning, and the right to have their own representatives in local government replace chiefs appointed by the British.

1n 1953 Governor Cohen was beginnning to urge Baganda to recognize that its special status would have to be sacrificed in the interests of a new and larger nation-state. Kabaka Freddie, who had been regarded by his subjects as uninterested in their welfare, now refused to cooperate with Cohen's plan for an integrated Buganda. Instead, he demanded that Buganda be separated from the rest of the protectorate and transferred to Foreign Office jurisdiction. Cohen's response to this crisis was to deport the kabaka to a comfortable exile in London. His forced departure made the kabaka an instant martyr in the eyes of the Baganda, whose latent separatism and anticolonial sentiments set off a storm of protest.

January 3 1961. The Kingdom of Buganda in fact has declared its Independence on midnight of December 31st, l960 and dissociated itself from the rest of Uganda.The Governor declared that this is not acceptable by the British Government.

1966. The political climate in newly independent uganda was heating up. Prime minister Milton Obote while on a visit up north had been given a vote of no confidence by his UPC. He was widely expected to resign but he didnt, instead he turned to the Military. He forced through a pigeon hole constitution without the necessary quorum. The gulf expanded between him and Sir Edward Mutesa the constitutional president who ordered the central government off Buganda soil. In response Obote ordered general Amin to storm the Kabaka's palace the lubiri. The kabaka escaped following a lull in the fighting. The monarch was banned. A new era ushered in. Uganda became a republic and the "common man's charter" was announced by Milton Obote.

....because the president's aim is to gag freedom of thought?
In Uganda of today, it is a treasonable act to exercise the constitutionally guaranteed freedom of conscience, of expression and of assembly and association. What Museveni fully guarantees and rewards handsomely is servile flattery and praises (sychophancy), of his greatness, alleged intrepidity, invincibility and as the only person alive who has all the answers to all the problems (some of them created by him) which afflict Uganda. Thus his wars for all intents and purposes are wars to banish freedom of thought in every brain and home throughout Uganda; and wherever and to whoever submission is humiliation beneath the dignity of a citizen, scorched-earth retribution and massacres are brought into play. There can be no doubt that after the subjugation of the North and East, the war of subjugation will be launched in the "South". There are already signs to that effect. The time for the "South" to come out of the topor - induced by Museveni - is now. Meanwhile, opinion leaders in the so-called "South" sleep and remain totally mute on the matters of massacres in the North and East as if those Regions are not part and parcel of Uganda - one single body of sovereign people.

Personal thoughts(through the looking glass)
I am not a politician and i am not a historian. I am man, i am a poet, with a looking glass, I am merely looking through and i will certainly tell you like the poet Wordsworth in V. S Naipul's miguel street:

"The past is deep"

I am not a muganda and i don't hate the Baganda, far from it, I am impressed by their history
for example the journalist Henry M. Stanley visited Buganda in 1875 and provided an estimate of Buganda troop strength. Stanley counted 125,000 troops marching off on a single campaign to the east, where a fleet of 230 war canoes waited to act as auxiliary naval support. On Lake Victoria (which the Baganda called Nnalubale), a royal navy of outrigger canoes, commanded by an admiral who was chief of the Lungfish clan, could transport Baganda commandos to raid any shore of the lake.

Like the oracle in the matrix i will tell you this:
"I am only concerned about one thing, the future"
So where are we going? Does the past give us an indication, a lesson to heed, an experience not to repeat?
Shall we look and act or shall we be like the Great Teacher re-echoed and said:

"They have eyes but they cannot see, ears but they cannot hear."

Sources:

• The British mission to Uganda in 1893, BY THE LATE SIR GERALD PORTAL, K.C.M.G., C.B.THE BRITISH COMMISSIONER. EDITED WITH A MEMOIR BY RENNELL RODD, C.M.G, 1894
• Notes on concealment of genocide in Uganda, A. Milton Obote, April 1990
• Uganda, a country study. Federal Research division, Library of congress, edited by Rita M. Brynes, December 1990

The image at the top is Stanley's drawing of the road to Mengo, the Buganda capital city in 1875.

"they have eyes but cannot see..." Jeremiah 5: 21, Psalms 115:6, Ezekiel 12:2 , Mark 8:18

Essays on Uganda part 5: History: When the unacceptable was acceptable

Through the looking glass and what i found there
D E Wasake Esq

My aunt Christine(RIP) was once visited by her mum's sister, "khukhu Bess mess" from deep in the village. In an effort to "civilise" the old lady, she put on the telly and by golly there was a show on Queen Elizabeth. Aunt Christine went on to excitedly tell her: "Aunt, see! that is the Queen Elizabeth, Queen of England and ruler of the whole world!".

Khukhu Bess mess then proceeded to ask her(very solemny i add):

"Is she a mugisu?"

The year is 1893, a British Commissioner, a diplomat with experience from Egypt and Abysinnia has been sent to the Country, to establish British rule over the territory and annex it as a British protectorate.

The year is 1899, a missionary is making his first observations of the people of the country to be called Uganda. He also travels through dwarf land and cannibal country.

The year is 1907, a Reverend is writing on the culture of the Baganda, the greatest Central African civilization of the time.

The native Ugandan has been encountered by the White man, intent on spreading the "Pax Britannia" or the "peace of Britain, the greatest empire on earth"

What follows are observations and writings of these men. Unfortunately they never imagined that the "negro" heathen would 100 years henceforth access them and see right through it and Many of the stories, incidents, observations narrated in the paragraphs that follow may infuriate, but if you have a good sense of humour, just kick back and enjoy. For your information, at the time of these writings, references to the Uganda country often meant/implied Buganda.

Kampala, 22rd March 1893

My dear Mother — We all arrived here well and strong on the 17th, the very day I had selected before leaving the coast. Since then I have not had a moment's breathing time —interviews, writing, talking, and business of all sorts, from 6.30 A.M. till late at night, without a moment's respite.

I have only come to the conclusion so far that this is a farmore complicated, difficult, and disagreeable business than anyone anticipated. . . .

— Your affectionate G. H. P.

1 April 1893 (entry in Sir Gerald Portal's diary)

1 2 o'clock. —Hauled down Company's flag and hoisted Union Jack. Guards of honour and royal salute. King(Kabaka Mwanga) sent to me to ask for a flag like this ; told him he could not have it.

Initial observations on the Baganda (from Sir Gerald Portal's notes)

All the "Waganda are liars to the last man. They really lie —especially to a European — in preference to speaking the truth and they regard successful lying as a fine art. A man who told the truth to a European unnecessarily, in preference to a plausible lie, founded on distorted facts, would be regarded as a mere fool, and would be distrusted by the others.

....It is a curious fact that in spite of this real or assumed contempt on the part of the dominant Waganda, the royal family is reputed to be of Wahuma extraction, although by indiscriminate polygamy and concubinage it has now lost nearly all outward trace of its racial origin.

Among the Waganda I never saw a handsome man, nor even a passably good-looking woman or girl; the latter after marriage, as in the case of most African races, soon " fall to pieces," and are wrinkled and old by the time they have reached their thirtieth year.

In a Wahuma village stalwart, proud-looking aristocratic men are the rule rather than the exception, while the large, soft hazel eyes, the delicate lips gently parted over most brilliant teeth, the proud carriage of the little head, the clear velvety skin, the firm budding figure and elastic step of some of the Wahuma maidens would be more than sufficient to turn the head of many a London sybarite.

Proving legitimacy of children
(a.k.a Billie Jean is not my lover, but the kid is not my son)

The next event of importance in a child's life was the naming ceremony (kwalula), which gave it its standing in the clan, and it was on this occasion that its legitimacy was established once and for ever.
The gathering for the purpose of naming the child was generally held at the house of the chief of the clan.

The mothers took their children to the appointed place, and each carried with her the piece of umbilical cord which she had preserved carefully from the time of birth(the ceremony had children from birth to as old as 5 years); in many clans the mothers wore it tied round their waist, so that it was kept safe.

.....The clan head placed the cord in water. If the cord floated, the women opposite raised a shrill cry of delight and clapped their hands ; if it sank, the child was disowned by the clan, and said to be a child born in adultery.

....They all stayed the night at the house of the head of the clan, and early next morning a feast was prepared for the wives who had passed the test for their children.

Each mother again sat on her barkcloth in the open, and her mother-in-law sat opposite,holding a piece of cooked fish in her right hand and a piece of cooked plantain in her left.As she(mother in law) rehearsed their names, each time going further back, she watched the child, and when it laughed it was a token to her that the ancestor just named was he whose ghost would be the child's guardian. If the child subsequently fell ill, or if it did not thrive, they changed its name, and appointed another guardian, because the former was supposed to dislike the child.

A feast was made for the mothers, at which they were welcomed and praised by all the members of the husband's clan. Those who failed to pass the test were scolded, forced to confess who was the father of the child, and in some cases were even beaten by the women of the husband's clan.

A white man cannot possibly marry a black girl!

...Soon after my arrival a most embarrassing incident happened. A young damsel of very handsome appearance came one day to visit me at my house, bringing a basket of fruit, asking my acceptance. Of course I thanked her as best I could and accepted the gift.

The following day she came again bringing another present, and again I gladly received it. But when this went on day after day for nearly a fortnight I began to think that something was wrong. I therefore sent for one of my boys, who explained to me the meaning of these constant visits.

It appears that this is one of the native customs. Any young woman seeking a husband, and finding a young man to whom she feels drawn, immediately brings him a present, and if he receives it she is encouraged to renew the gift ; each acceptance makes it more certain that she has found favour in the sight of the young man, and at the end of a certain time he is expected to propose to her ; and she becomes his wife.

Imagine my feelings when I heard the story and thought of the many un deniable proofs I had unconsciously given her....

With great embarrassment, therefore, I had to tell her that my ignorance had caused me to do what otherwise I should not have done, and finished up by telling her that a white man could not possibly marry a black woman.

Alas ! she did not seem to see the reason why it should be so, and I fear went away with a heavy heart.

Which end(of the dog barks)?

And now my little dog Sally came much into prominence. I have already stated that she was a poodle, and as I had not troubled to shave her, she had very long, black, curly hair, almost down to the ground. When the natives of this village saw her they took a great fright, and declared that a "little devil" had come with the white man.

When I heard that this report had spread amongst them I called the chief and explained to him that it was a dog from Europe, and then a large crowd came round to see Sally perform. First I made her stand upright, like a soldier, with a stick for a gun, then beg, and next hold a stick in her mouth, being dressed up in a cap and a small coat, then smoke a pipe.

This last quite overcame them, and they immediately looked upon Sally as an individual of great distinction, and the women went away to collect presents for the strange visitor. All kinds of food were brought to the fortunate Sally, who seemed most thoroughly to realise her importance.

One old woman went so far as to actually greet her in Luganda! (quite solemnly).

When Sally curled herself up and went to sleep she looked just like a black ball, and on more than one occasion natives have asked me " which end barks."

Delivering the prophetic verdict on the cause of the September 2009 Buganda riots?

“It is already well known from the accounts of former travellers that in its political and social economy Uganda stands forth in strong contrast to all surrounding African nations ; this indeed is one of the principal reasons for which this country has attracted so much attention, and has been the un- willing cause of so much heartburning among political, religious, and general circles at home.

It has been the fate or the fortune of Uganda to differ in character and habits from its neighbours; its peculiarities and idiosyncrasies have secured public attention, and, like any private individual who is rash enough thus to single himself out from the common herd, it must now, whether for good or evil, prepare to incur the inevitable consequences of the sin of individuality. “

Through the looking glass (Personal thoughts)

Sir Gerald continues to speak from the land of "far far away". His language at once conclusive. I have up to this point mainly delivered facts and not often voicing my opinion but you see these essays were actually started in response to the situation following the riots of September. I asked myself, where will it end? I am not sure it will, of course i could continue to timidly run behind an antill and tread lightly but which revolution, cultural or political was ever started quitely
It was Otto Von Bismark who boldly declared:

Not through speeches and majority decisions will the great questions of the day be decided... but by iron and blood.

I will however for the moment contiue to ply the sunnier side to some things...Looking at some of these stories I am no longer so judgemental of some folk. It is not that they are unintelligent, it is merely the lack of exposure/ignorance that narrows their world view and thus sometimes clouds the judgement of what is possible and impossible and makes us ask the dumbest of questions. If their eyes were "opened" surely they would see that they are blind and need to buy cloth to cover their nakedness. And this truth applies whether you are black or white...
I know of workmates and friends of workmates who ask:

"when the plane is going to drop you off home, do they open the doors and you jump out and off into your tree houses?"

Sources

• The British mission to Uganda in 1893, Late Sir Gerald Portal, British High Commissioner, Edited with a memoir by Renell Rodd
• In dwarf land and cannibal country,travel and discovery in central Africa, A. B Lloyd, 1899
• The Baganda, an account of their native customs and beliefs, Rev. John Roscoe, 1911

Essays on Uganda Part 4: History: My father's mzungu sweetheart

Through the looking glass and what i found there
D E Wasake Esq.

Dear Dickson was your father a representative to the UN youth forum in the 1960s?(he would have been a teenager then if he's the person I am looking for). If so, can you please give me his contact info? I met him then....
Thanks!
Cathy Sufro (sent via facebook)

My father never spoke much. He still doesnt speak much. And now perhaps history is speaking for him. History. Its so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.
Its over 40 years later, what does Cathy want to see through the looking glass? What does she expect to hear. That the revolutionary African she met was definitely going someplace and perhaps, she thinks he is a great man, whose name when whispered brings reverence to the people of Africa?

Uganda and the world in general was a difficult place in the 60s. There was war and talk of war everywhere. Revolutions everywhere. The talk of independence everywhere. There was hope in the air, but then what happened?

Secessation

January 3 1961

The Kingdom of Buganda in fact has declared its Independence on midnight of December 31st, l960 and dissociated itself from the rest of Uganda.The Governor declared that this is not acceptable by the British Government. So far everything here is very quiet. The Governor in the meantime flew to England. The people who live in the rural areas are convinced that as of January 1st, l961 an independent Kingdom of Uganda exists. The Africans in Kampala expect difficulties to arise by the end of this or the beginning of next week. During these days the Africans will have to pay their taxes. They still will have to pay these taxes to the Government of the British Protectorate of Uganda. Exactly at this point the people will become aware of the fact, that they dont have Independence yet. That is the reason for the Africans to expect difficulties.

Death of a UN Secretary General

An aircraft carrying Dag Hammarskjöld crashed in Rhodesia. I was shocked when I heard of this accident. I always put great hopes in Dag Hammarskjöld. So far he always understood how to bring all difficulties to a good end. Once I have seen Dag Hammarskjöld in Kampala. He made a very sympathetic and modest impression on me. Well, we will have to have independence, presumably in June now, without his help.

A retrospective

At Uganda's independence in October 1962 there was little indication that the country was headed for disaster. On the contrary, it appeared a model of stability and potential progress. Unlike neighboring Kenya, Uganda had no alien white settler class attempting to monopolize the rewards of the cashcrop economy. Nor was there any recent legacy of bitter and violent conflict in Uganda to compare with the 1950s Mau Mau rebellion in Kenya. In Uganda it was African producers who grew the cotton and coffee that brought a higher standard of living, financed the education of their children, and led to increased expectations for the future.

Unlike neighboring Tanzania, Uganda enjoyed rich natural resources, a flourishing economy, and an impressive number of educated and prosperous middle-class African professionals, including business people, doctors, lawyers, and scientists. And unlike neighboring Zaire (the former Belgian Congo), which experienced only a brief period of independence before descending into chaos and misrule, Uganda's first few years of self-rule saw a series of successful development projects. The new government built many new schools, modernized the transportation network, and increased manufacturing output as well as national income. With its prestigious national Makerere University, its gleaming new teaching hospital at Mulago, its Owen Falls hydroelectric project at Jinja--all gifts of the departing British--Uganda at independence looked optimistically to the future.

What went wrong(personal thoughts)

Daddy is not the man he was in the 60s. He had dreams but they evaporated, perhaps a little too soon, like the morning dew outside his mafudu home.
He dreamed of UPC for ever(Everybody UPC,eh eh, UPC). He dreamed a 1000 dreams. I can only imagine.I can only guess and wonder, just like i wonder what took place between him and Cathy. Perhaps sharing a blunt, while listening to Jimi Hendrix's "are you experienced?" or Perhaps, it was the beatle's "come together" or perhaps he carried an LP and introduced her to "Bolingo"the music of Franco Makiadi and the TPOK Jazz band from neighbouring Belgian Congo?


P.S

The image at the top is the Uganda flag upto 1962.

Sources:
Letters from Sonja: Oma Kaggwa, Dr. Aliker and Mr Obote, Sonja Winklmaier,
http://countrystudies.us/uganda/2.htm

Essays on Uganda Part 3: History: early beginnings, culture and the legendary fear of the mother in law and the mujasi.

Through the looking glass and what I found there
D E Wasake Esq.

Part 1: Early beginnings

On the beginning of the rape of Africa(and it goes on): Blame our ancestral mothers who taught us to welcome our enemies.

We speak to-day of the great explorations for the opening up of the Dark Continent ; our proposed railways, increased trade, and our civilising agencies. But what is the true state of affairs ? alas ! it must still be called Darkest Africa. Thousands of square miles still un- explored, huge forests absolutely untouched, millions of her dusky sons in as gross a state of darkness as they were a thousand years ago. And this for all that more lives have been laid down for Africa, and a greater sacrifice of men to the enterprise of discovery than in any other land. The border is yet hardly touched. Civilised countries have been made the richer by her gold, and where is the recompense that has been paid to her ? Her tribes are sunk in deepest depths of ignorance and sin, and alas ! the white man's greed for her gold, her rubber, and her ivory has only deepened her guilt, for often it has brought within her domains drunkenness, lawlessness, and vice, and all this rushing in upon a defenceless people.
And still her hands are stretched out, and it is to us that she looks ; to us — who have taken her wealth, and have given to her gin, and a handful of missionaries.

But the day is at hand, and darkest Africa shall yet be enlightened.

On the beginning of the western press's romantiscm of Africa's poverty. Blame it on our smiles, in the face of austerity.

“Ugogo is a thirsty land, a land of sweeping winds and driving dust, an inhospitable land of poverty. And yet it has a kind of indescribable charm about it the spell so subtle and yet so strong which every part of Africa, each in its own way, and after its own manner, seems to weave about the traveller's imagination,making him desire to return to it as the moth returns to the flame that destroys it.”

On the beginning of the death of community? Blame the religious wars in the reign of Kabaka Mwanga.

The Baganda Christians are passing through a very severe time of testing. The earliest Europeans to come to the country were Christian missionaries, and the idea naturally established itself in the native mind that it was the direct aim and object of all white men to propagate the religion which they profess. The conception of a European not interested or concerned in the faith of his fathers was foreign to them. Even now it is difficult for them to grasp such a position. Thirty years ago individualism was practically unknown. No peasant thought for himself, least of all on religious matters; his simple duty was to follow his chief, to think as he thought and to believe as he believed. Now things have changed, for each man must think for himself; and the Church has reached the time when every member has to adjust himself to a new world, with new possibilities, new temptations, and new demands.

On the beginning of the Uganda railway mess? Blame the beginnings on Sir Fredrick Lugard's Imperial British East Africa company)

I had left England full of enthusiasm for this Company. The fact that such men as Sir Powell Buxton and the late Sir William Mackinnon were prominent directors of the undertaking was an ample guarantee that, as far as they were personally concerned, the Company was primarily, if not a philanthropic undertaking, at anyrate one which chiefly sought the development and civilisation of the countries to be administered, and not one to attract hungry investors desiring dividends.
On closer acquaintance with this corporation, however, I came to the conclusion that there were other interests than those of philanthropy represented, interests which,though perhaps legitimate in themselves, could not but be out of harmony with a benevolent undertaking.
I must confess after what I had read of the cutting of the first sod of the railway, and of the grand doings on that occasion, and of the intention on the part of the Company to hasten on the work, I was shocked, on visiting " Railway Point," to find the railway what might not unjustly be termed a sorry fiasco. The work accomplished was of the puniest and most paltry description, and even what there was appeared to havebeen abandoned.

On the Beginning of Hypocrisy: “Jjangu tulye?” Blame it on the politeness of the Baganda

The Baganda belong to the great Bantu family, and are people. perhaps the most advanced and cultured tribe of that family ;in their dress and habits they were superior to any of their neighbours, while their extreme politeness was proverbial.
Their manners were courteous, and they welcomed strangers and showed hospitality to guests ; every visitor was given a female goat at least when he arrived—it was not polite to give a male animal—and they never looked for nor expected a return present, whereas among other African tribes a chief gives a visitor a present and expects a return present of at
least double the value, which he will even ask for if the gift is long delayed.

Part 2: Early sorrows:

19th century PIMPS

On the fifth day out from Naples we reached Port Said, now an important place, owing to its position at the entrance to the Suez Canal ; but an evil city, and the common sewer through which east and west seem to pour their vileness and their filth. Gaming hells,dancing saloons, drinking bars flaunt on every side, while young boys accost the stranger, inviting him to these haunts of vice, or endeavour to sell him obscene
pictures.

When the house fly was preferred to something else.

But though I neither saw nor heard lions I was the victim of the attack of creatures not so large as lions, but much more ferocious. I mean the tse tse fly-fatal to domestic cattle, and most hostile to men. I soon learned, by experience, that when there is a company of people the flies distribute their favours ; but if there is only one solitary wretch by himself he may expect something extremely unpleasant. Bloodthirstiness is a mild term to express the frightful craving for blood which characterises these pests.
The flies came about me in dozens, and I was streaming with blood in several places, I killed them in scores, but it was a continual battle ; they grew fiercer as the sun became hotter, till at length what at first had seemed merely an intolerable nuisance began to assume an aspect which was absolutely horrible.
What if I should become faint, and unable to continue the battle with them. They might drain a man as dry as a red herring. I had been told a fearful tale of a traveller in Iceland who, with his
horse, had been actually eaten alive by flies, the flies finishing both man and horse in one day. What if these tigerish pests should actually make an end of me !
I found that guiding the bicycle and keeping in the narrow path prevented my dealing in a satisfactory manner with my persistent enemies. In getting down,however, my hat fell off, and in an instant my head, which was closely cropped, was covered with the enemy. I recovered my hat, wheeled the bicycle with one hand, which was being bitten all the time, while I battled with the other till I reached a tree. Here,freed from the bicycle, I renewed the engagement with vigour, and, to my great joy, after I had killed a few dozen of the flies, they seemed to become more shy. I now lighted a great fire with a box of matches which I always carried in my pocket. The wind blew the hot flames near me ; and though the sun beat down from above, I preferred the heat to the enraged foe.
Under these conditions I battled with the enemy for something like three mortal hours. As the tse tse grew less persistent in their attacks their place was taken by the small common house-fly, and for the first time in my life I was quite pleased to see them.

Part 3: revelations

Secret police revealed(who say's Amin's State Research Bureau or the Taliban started it all)

The men were formerly quite free to roam about and pay visits, and they incurred no danger, except when the secret police were seeking victims for sacrificial purposes. Then it was not safe for anyone to venture out, because even those men who were immune might have
to undergo the tedious process of proving that they belonged to one of the principal clans. Women were not free to move about without the consent of their husbands or masters,
and in the capital every woman and girl had some guardian from whom she had to obtain an escort when she wished to visit a friend or relation.


“Malo revealed” : On an encounter with a phonograph(with Chief Ogwok of the 50wives and 60 children)

Towards evening the chief made the strange request that we should “make the man talk who was shut up in a box”
for a moment or two we were puzzled to know what this meant and then it suddenly dawned upon us that he must be referring to the phonograph, the fame of which had preceded us here.
….all was solemnly quiet as the wonderful box was produced, wound up and started, and then there went up an awed fast from the fifty throats as the “man in the box” commenced to sing one of their own songs, a record which had been taken before we left patigo.
At first the strangeness of it seemed too much for them, and they stood gaping in bewilderment at the wonderful instrument, very gradually they relaxed, then their hilarity went beyond control. Presently they were asked to sing into the phonograph themselves. They seemed shy and hung fire for a moment or two and then in thorough Acholi style, dancing at the same time. Their song was reproduced and that was the climax. They shrieked with laughter and flung themselves upon each others shoulders, hiding their faces as their voices were heard proceeding from this wonderful machine.
….Long into the night we could hear them discussing the events of the evening, and an occasional burst of laughter told us what a tremendous impression the phonograph had made.
The dreaded mother in law is back(or she never left)

The beginnings of some common today words

“posho.”
Travellers into africa's interior often had to travel with huge caravans of porters, sometimes 500 strong. They often paid their wages for 3 months in advance(as the journey from Zanzibar to Lake Victoria often took 3 months). In addition, they provided them with “posho” money to buy food from villages they passed through.

“Mujasi”
Between 1854 and 1884, King Mutesa introduced a standing army with a permanent general-A Mujasi.

Part 4: Early customs

The dreaded mother in law.

While in this district we had a curious illustration of a widely prevalent African custom. In one of the villages inhabited by some members of the Wakamba tribe, Dr. Wright was making good use of his medical skill in treating some cases of ophthalmia.While he was busy with a woman I saw a young man standing at a distance, who had evidently come for treatment, but who hesitated to approach. Supposing he was afraid of the white doctor I called to him to come near. The bystanders now explained that it was not the doctor but the patient whom the young man feared. She was his mother-in-law.
The villagers were quite pleased with me for appreciating their feelings on the subject, which I did, not from my own personal experience, but from knowing that the curious custom of holding it improper in the highest degree to approach or even look at a mother-in-law prevails among many tribes, the people of Uganda among the rest. The Bahuma and Basoga are notable exceptions.

Shaving

Men rarely grew hair on their faces—they plucked it out, or shaved it off. Women were most particular to keep the hair in the arm-pits shaved, unless their husbands were at war or on a journey, when custom forbade them to shave until the husband returned and sexual intercourse had taken place, after which the wife shaved every part of her body.

Kneeling and thanking(even when unnecessary)

The wives of chiefs would not kneel to a man of inferior position, though they promptly did so to an equal. In like manner a man would kneel at once when he met a superior
and saluted him, for it was the custom for every inferior to salute his superior. It was also the custom to speak to everyone, and especially to thank a person engaged in any work,
even though he was a complete stranger, and the work which he was doing was not for the advantage of the speaker.

Sources:

• Chronicles of Uganda, Rev. R.P Ashe, New York, 1895
• Uganda to Khartoum. Life and adventure on the upper Nile. Albert B. Lloyd. First edition, 1906.
• The Baganda, an account of their native customs and beliefs. Rev. John Roscoe. 1911

Essays on Uganda. History part 2; Bagisu's cannibalism revealed and King Awich was a hen pecked man!

Through the looking glass and what I found there.
D E Wasake Esq.

Growing up in school, it was not uncommon to be told by classmates that “mw'abagisu tubamanyi, muly'abantu”, which literally means, “we know you Bagisu, you eat people(cannibals).”
It was also not uncommon to hear that the Acholi women can only be won over by a man who is stronger than them and so to win her, he had to wrestle her to the ground(after a very vigorous chase.)
The Basoga always had jiggers in addition to being extremely big headed(“empwitu) and the Banyankore were lazy but very good looking.

Is there some truth in the origins to these statements? But what about in 1899, what did someone outside looking in see?

I set to find out about our tribes, early religion, culture, religious places, schools. Below are extracts from writings of missionaries to Uganda at the time.


On Namirembe cathederal

“....The present building is the fifth church to be erected on Namirembe Hill. In 1890, upon the arrival of Bishop Tucker in the country, the mission station was built, not on the top of the hill, but at the foot. In those days none but the king or members of the royal family were allowed to build on the tops of hills.”

On the Kings School, Budo

“…...With the advance of civilization has grown the demand for a higher form of education. The chiefs, who now have to keep records of all their court cases, to be submitted to the Government, must of necessity have clerks who can write a good hand and do some arithmetic. Also, the Government needed interpreters and clerks of good intelligence. In addition to this, it was felt that the future chiefs of the country should be men of education, with broader views of life than those commonly found in the country. This school was founded, therefore, for the special benefit of the chiefs, who desired their sons to be properly taught to meet the requirements of the future as well as the demands of the present.

On tribes

Basoga
….The Basoga at one time were expert and noted thieves, and when caravans passed through the southern part of the country, scarcely one escaped without being attacked at night by these skilful robbers. The people made themselves hopelessly drunk and fuddled by the constant use of native beer (mwenge), and by smoking Indian hemp; this latter was especially demoralizing, for it left the victim apathetic and helpless till its effects had worn off. Polygamy was practised, and many of the important chiefs had from 300 to 400 wives each.

Teso
Islam seems to have but little attraction for the Teso people, in spite of the prevalence of polygamy. Even the chiefs hold aloof, although many of them have large numbers of wives; one who died recently left 119 as part of his estate!

Bagisu
“There is, first, the more or less degraded Bantu stock, which includes the Bagwere, the Banyuli, and the once cannibal Bagisu. The two first-named tribes are relatively unimportant, but the last named are a large tribe occupying a small area on the western slopes of Mount Elgon, whither they are said to have been driven by the cattle-raiding of the Teso. Clan feeling is extremely strong among the Bagisu, and they are but little amenable to the authority of their chiefs; they are a degraded, animal type, though the extent to which their cannibal practices still obtain is not easy to ascertain, and each clan professes innocence and accuses some other. The influence of the Baganda is very strong, and they are looked up to generally as representatives of a more advanced race; to read is to become a Muganda--a superior person, hence the preference for Luganda. The Bagisu do not seem at all intelligent, and the teachers complain of their slowness to learn.”

Gang Country(Acholi)
“It was a severe test, as the Gang people were known to be very wild and warlike. Surely enough, I found the Gang people a wild race, but I liked them from the first, and decided that missionary work should be definitely started.
The development of the cotton trade in this part of the protectorate has brought great wealth to the people, and all sorts of European articles are in demand, from bicycles to wrist watches. Even the women will be seen riding bicycles, and they much prefer the man's pattern to the lady's.”

Ankore
Ankole is the home of the great Hima tribe, and here are to be found thousands and tens of thousands of cattle. The Bahima are physically a fine race, and are an ancient tribe, at one time probably occupying two-thirds of the whole of the Uganda Protectorate. It is a significant fact that the four kings of the Uganda Protectorate are all allied by blood, and are directly descended from the Hima tribe. Although the Banyan-kole [People of Ankole] have always been looked down upon by the Baganda, in many respects they are the better people. Physically they are a much finer race, being generally very tall, with particularly good features, and by no means of the negroid type.
During the recent scourge of rinderpest, which swept through the country, when thousands of magnificent beasts were, carried off, suicide among the men was very common. They live for their cattle, and when they saw their beloved beasts dying there seemed nothing left for them but to follow the cows to the grave.
The Banyankole are not, as a rule, black, but rather of a light brown colour. The cultivators of the soil are called bairu, and are generally recognized as the slaves of the tribe, although they are only a lower branch of the Lunyoro-speaking people. The women are extremely pleasant to look upon, but are much more secluded than their sisters in Uganda. The married women are generally kept veiled and do not often appear in public.
In December, 1899, Bishop Tucker visited the country. He found it, of course, a great contrast to Buganda. Instead of fine houses in which to live, the chiefs and even the king himself were living in small, dark huts inside the cattle kraals.

On a Hen pecked man

It was decidedly amusing to find that this great king(Awich) was completely under the thumb of his many wives, more especially one called his chief mistress. She seemed to rule him with a rod of iron, and even the small matters of daily life had to be referred to her. For instance, in the matter of food-he, poor chap, was quite dependant upon this amazon for his daily bread, and if she were in a bad temper, he had to go supper less-even us, his guests, he was obliged to request this lady most politely to supply us with a certain quantity of food,and then did not seem at all sure that she would consent. Hen pecked husbands are a decided rarity in Africa and the troubles of this poor man gave us much enjoyment and merriment.

On a heathen funeral(In Acholi)

A man who was cultivating in the fields was struck by lightning, and was immediately killed. His grave was dug by the side of his house, a small round hole, broadening out towards the bottom. Into this the body was put, and wicker framework placed on the open grave. Over this were spread various clothes and ornaments he had been in the habit of wearing surmounted by an old umbrella.
Round the grave sat all is wives, crying and shrieking, throwing themselves upon the ground, sometimes shouting their husband's name into the pit.
His old mother with a rope tied round her waist, knotted at the back with two ends streaming behind, and grasping in her hands a bundle of the deceased's arrows, walked round and round the circle of women occasionally slapping them on the back and urging them to show their grief.
Surrounding the women were the warriors in all their war paint, with spears and bows and arrows in their hands, dancing and chanting the merits of the dead. The chant being interpreted to me ran as follows:-

“oh! Ali, thou wast rich in cows and women,
thou hadst many slaves to serve thee;
but now thou art poor, very poor,
your possessions are given to another.”

After each chant the old mother would approach the grave and beat the earth for a second and shout three times while leaning over the grave, Ali, Ali, Ali.
Every now and then the women would spring up and race across the courtyard, turning somersault, and flinging themselves violently to the ground. Others would climb on the roof of the houses and from thence throw themselves to the earth.

Through the looking glass (Personal thoughts)

How amusing it is to think that the more things change, the more things stay the same. It is the year 2009 A.D and more than 100 years now, and still some things haven't changed.
Some think that time moves all so fast, “like the blink of an eye” others think, that “times they are changing”, I personally agree with someone else;

“yesterday, today, tomorrow, I don't think there is a difference, its all an illusion.”

P.S

Sources:

Project Canterbury,Day spring in Uganda. Ven Albert B Lloyd, Archdeacon of Western Uganda London. Church Missionary Society, 1921.

Uganda to Khartoum Life and adventure on the upper Nile. Albert B. Lloyd. First edition, 1906

Full quote on the past, present, future being all an illusion:
“Now he has departed from this strange world a little ahead of me. That means nothing. People like us, who believe in physics, know that the distinction between past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.”
Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

Essays on Uganda. History part 1; who is this God of the white man?

Through the looking glass and what i found there.
D E Wasake Esq.

Uganda is weeping. Some are content to return to the bread and butter on the table. some think like Bismark that the decisions of the day are decided by "iron and blood" and some of us?
We are groaning for an understanding of what's happening. I am taking a step back. I am searching the annals of history. Will I be able to see where it all began. Maybe. Maybe i will only add to the confusion. But for what it is worth. I was here and i tried to shed a little light. A messenger, perhaps with a candle, in the hazy mist of the morning.
This is is the first part of the series. The beginning of modern day uganda's struggles, as i see it...

Part 1: Introduction of Christianity to Uganda(Buganda)

On the missionary party that was to come to Uganda to begin the work of God

• George Shergold Smith, ex-lieutenant of the Royal Navy;leader


• Alexander Mackay, a Scotch engineer;


• the Rev. C. T. Wilson, a Manchester curate;


• T. O'Neill, an architect;


• John Smith, a doctor from Edinburgh;


• G. J. Clark, another engineer;
  


• W. M. Robertson, an artisan;
  


• and James Robertson, a builder, who, rejected by the doctors, went out at his own risk and expense--these made up the party.

On Mackay before the committee of the Church Missionary Society(C.M.S)

" Mackay, the youngest of the party, thus addressed the Committee of the C.M.S. before he sailed:

"I want to remind the Committee that within six months they will probably hear that one of the party is dead; yes, is it at all likely that eight Englishmen should start for Central Africa and all be alive six months after? One of us at least--it may be I--will surely fall before that.... When that news comes, do not be cast down, but send some one else immediately to take the vacant place."

On the arrival in Uganda
At long last, on 30 June, 1877, two of the party reached Uganda, crossing from the south end of the lake--two only out of the eight that had started!



Only Shergold smith and Wilson reached Uganda.

And the others?

James Robertson, died 5 months into the journey.

Clark, by ill health had to return home

Mackay, ordered back to the coast, desperately ill and not expected to live.

W.M Robertson also invalided home.

Dr. John smith, died of dysenty.

O'Neil, left at the south end of the lake with the heavy goods



On the first conversion of a Ugandan to Christianity



October 1881



"Mackay laboured night and day, working with his own hands to supply the spiritual needs of those around him. Neglected by the king whose guest he was supposed to be, we read of his selling the glass from a photograph frame, sent to him from home, in order to obtain his daily bread. When in the year 1881, in the month of October, a little note was one day slipped into his hand, and he read of the first convert who wished for baptism, we can well imagine the almost overwhelming joy it brought to Mackay and 0'Flaherty, who was then his colleague. The message ran:

"Sembera has come with compliments and to give you great news. Will you baptize him, because he believes the words of Jesus Christ?" Here, then, was the first convert.

But we learn that Sembera was not the first to be baptized, after all.

"A lad named Damulira, who was an earnest reader, fell ill. He begged a heathen friend, a lad of his own age, to call one of the missionaries, but his friend refused. Damulira grew worse, and at last, when dying, he bade his heathen friend bring water and sprinkle it over him 'In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost.' "This, therefore, was the first baptism in Uganda, performed by a heathen lad! Mackay wrote of this: "I do believe that this baptism by a lubare lad (spirit worshipper) has been written in heaven." Sembera and four others were baptized on 18 March, 1882, nearly six months after the letter quoted above was written, Sembera taking for his new name "Mackay," in loving memory of his teacher."



On who is the real god



"....French priests of the Church of Rome arrived two years after our missionaries got there, and sad confusion resulted. Mutesa and his chiefs were perplexed, as well they might be. Protestant, Roman, and Mohammedan, all were there with their conflicting differences. Is it to be wondered at that the old heathenism soon began to gain ground again, and apparently won the day? For the king himself gave in, and said:

"We will have nothing more to do with either the Arab's or the white man's religion, but we will return to the religion of our fathers."

On dying for a country he did not even see(Bishop Hannington)





With brutal spear thrusts this valiant soldier of the Cross was done to death on 29 October, 1885, together with many of his porters. Almost his(Bishop Hannington's) last words were:
"I am about to die for the Baganda, and have purchased the road to them with my life."

Personal thoughts
Our struggles as a nation are but as the struggles of a baby, or perhaps the labour pains on the birth of a young nation.
Such upheavals are bound to return over and over again.
Afterall, for example the unification of the Kingdom of England and Scotland to form the United Kingdom of Great Britain took place in 1707. These people have had a head start of over 300 years after the upset to our balance;from the relions and cultures of our fathers.


P.S
Source:
Project Canterbury,Dayspring in Uganda by the Ven Albert



B Lloyd, Archdeacon of Western Uganda
London: Church Missionary Society, 1921.